Brendan 的个人资料Desperately Seeking...So...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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8月30日 Happy Birthday!Happy Birthday Nicola! Or as they say in Korea: 생일 축하해요! (Saeng - il - chuk - ha - hayeo!) 8月25日 Friday Feast 108Appetizer If you could have a free subscription to any magazine, which one would you like to have? I've never been into magazines. I tried comics as a kid, but they weren't popular enough in Belfast to be able to get easily, yet they still carried that "geek" stigma that would put you off reading them around other kids. Jess recently introduced me to Mental Floss, which is pretty funny and interesting, so I guess I'd take that. Soup - Describe your living room (furnishings, colors, etc.). I live in a Korean studio apartment, which means my living room is also my kitchen and bedroom. So I have: 2 book cases (1 grey and 1 brown) 1 chest of drawers (white) 1 beside cabinet (pine) 1 side table (pine) 1 dinner table (pine) 1 executive chair (black "leather") 1 queen size bed (brown wooden frame with blue sheets and pillow cases) 1 TV, VCR, DVD player 1 set of speakers 1 coffee maker, 1 kettle, 1 microwave, 1 toaster oven 1 fan The closets and cabinets are white and grey and blue. The walls are white and coverd in photos, poems and song lyrics. The floor is pine. Salad - What does the shape of a circle make you think of? Teaching shapes. Main Course - Name 3 things in your life that you consider to be absolute necessities. Books. Music. Coffee. Dessert - What was the last really funny movie you watched? This is Spinal Tap, about a month ago. (In Guam I watched Big, which was great and funny, and lots of The Golden Girls and Murphy Brown, which were also hilarious - I wish they were on here.) 8月24日 New pirate nameMick came into my class today to return my CD player, and the kids ambushed him to get a look at his baby-blue eyes. Funny enough. But, just as he was walking out the door, Jamie called after him: "Michael Teacher, you have the Fire-beard!" Need I tell you that the hairy flames of his facial hair stuck out at that point, like some fancy bird puffing up its feathers? And need I tell you that if Mick was a pirate, his name would have to be "Fire-beard"?! (I wonder if Katie likes the name?) 8月23日 Yer grannyYou know how old women from different countries all have a set type they seem to adhere to? So, in the States they all seem to drive Oldsmobiles and Cadillacs, and are very well done up. In Italy and Spain, they all wear black, so that they appear in constant mourning for a husband they happily got rid of 20 years ago. In Ireland, they're either playing bingo or shopping, using one of those suitcase things on wheels. (Is Canada old enough to have old women? Either way, I've only been to Gander, and all they have there are pretty maids all in a row selling moose-milk ice-cream, so I couldn't comment.) In Korea, they're nearly always bent double, so it appears as if they've been lugging around furniture all their lives. Their trousers are always 6 inches too short, as if they're waiting for a flood. And when you see them, they're either shelling peas on the side of the street, or hiking up mountains. Today, on my way home during the break, there was a crowd (at least 30, perhaps 50) of these caricatures pouring up out of the bowels of the building wherein I work. Now, I've no idea what goes on down there. I thought it was either offices or another school. But what all these women had in common (besides walking at a 45 degrees angle and wearing the too-short trousers) was that they were all carrying toilet paper. Toilet paper. Each and every one of them had a packet of 4 rolls of toilet paper. I can't, for the life of me, figure out why. Perhaps there's a bingo hall down there, and like some sort of strange version of Oprah, there was toilet paper for everyone in the audience. Perhaps one of the offices down there is a front for illegal activity, but instead of ripping off shipments of Samsung cameras and LG phones, they hit a TP truck recently. I'm afraid to find out; anyone can tell you that you don't get in the way of an elderly person looking for a bargain, and anyone who lives here can tell you that you don't get in the way of an elderly Korean at all. (Katie knows what I'm talking about.) King Konglish #402On a bag of plain bread: The toast of garlic can be experienced only by the toasting. Ina mouth, the flavor of a crunchy feeling of a meal and a garlic... On a disposible cup: The hope only happens to he who is hoping. (Katie likes toast.) Sleeping it off 2P.S I know Katie's tired too, but she's wearing it well. Sleeping it offIt's so hard to make people believe that when you're tired, you're simply just tired. From work, from the weather, from just feeling tired. Their first question is always "Too much to drink last night?" (Or if it's a Korean asking "Were you the drunken yesterday last the night?") In a recent episode of the hit CBS comedy How I Met Your Mother, Alison Hannigan's character, a kindgergarten teacher, seems to be falling asleep even time she stops moving. The reason, she explains, is because the Board of Education took away her school's nap time, so the kids are overactive, and she's overworked. A similar thing has happened here. The powers that be in this place decided to cram every available space with extra students for the month-long summer intensive course. Even the playroom is a classroom. So, my kids don't have their 20 minute run around in the morning, and I don't have my break. Now, any parent will tell you that messing with a 6-year-old's routine is a bad idea, and any teacher will tell you that trying to keep kids entertained and focused all through the morning is impossible. After about 5 minutes past their normal break time, I'm climbing the walls, they're climbing all over me. Now, Mick has bottomed out with what he's calling is an extra-virulent form of gastroenteritis, but what is really nervous exhaustion brought on by working from 11am to 9pm everyday. ("an extra-virulent form of gastroenteritis" sounds much more manly than "I'm so tired I can't digest food"!) This morning I slept in an extra hour and half. It's all up when the teachers are being asked by the students why they are late! Worst URLsJust got this from my cousin Caren, funny stuff: *Attn: Entrepeneurs* Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected *as other see it* and not just as you *think *it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration: 1. A site called '*Who Represents*' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is* **www.whorepresents.com* <http://www.whorepresents.com/> 2. *Experts Exchange*, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at* **www.expertsexchange.com* <http://www.expertsexchange.com/> 3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than *Pen** Island** *at* **www.penisland.net* <http://www.penisland.net/> 4. Need a therapist? Try *Therapist Finder* at* **www.therapistfinder.com* <http://www.therapistfinder.com/> 5. Then of course, there's the* Italian Power Generator* company...* **www.powergenitalia.com* <http://www.powergenitalia.com/> 6. And now, we have the *Mole Station Native Nursery,* based in New South Wales:* **www.molestationnursery.com* <http://www.molestationnursery.com/> 7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always* **www.ipanywhere.com* <http://www.ipanywhere.com/> 8. Welcome to the *First** Cumming Methodist Church*. Their website is* **www.cummingfirst.com* <http://www.cummingfirst.com/> 9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:* **www.speedofart.com* <http://www.speedofart.com/> 10. Want to holiday in *Lake Tahoe*? Try their brochure website at* **www.gotahoe.com* <http://www.gotahoe.com/> (Katie, what's your favorite?) 8月21日 Bloody well right!The first time I donated blood, it was done under duress. Gerry Vernon, the rather large, rather menacing character who supervised (read: terrorised) our study hall in 6th and 7th year would lean on you until you agreed to do it. And believe me, Gerry wasn't a person you'd want leaning anywhere near you. However, upon discovering that I was AB+, (a rather rare blood type, only 3% of the population), I was inflated with a sense of my own self-worth, and vowed to donate blood as often as I could. Now, donating blood gives me the sort of kick I get from visiting the doctor or dentist and being told that I'm (or my teeth are) in perfectly good shape. In Japan, Korea and Taiwan (and probably some other Asian countries) blood type can mean a whole lot about your personality as well. I've just been consulting with Zia, our resident expert on yoga, Pilates, mysticism and the blood theory, and I have to agree with most of what she said about my blood type. Here's a quick run down: ABs are intelligent, and like to appear intellectual (you think I do all that reading for fun?!) We're rational. We have unique tastes in food, art and clothing (we know what we like and we're not slaves to brands). We keep promises. We're indesicive, but only because we like to give everyone a chance to voice their opinion before we make a decision! We don't like to hear criticism. We're fair judges, but we can be rather critical with other people's moral failings. We like to act like the big brother, and try to settle arguments. We're rather stable economically. We can be rather feminine (why am I telling you this?!) We're popular, but it's said that it takes a long time to know us! We don't show emotion, and we don't get angry (I beg to differ). We're forgiving, but if we're betrayed we will seek revenge. (A dish best served cold according to Sean "The Fat Secretary" Conlon.) And that's about it. Have a read here: Blood theory Quote unquote
Samurai cops, Swiss cheese and the Tom & Jerry MemorialOn Saturday I had to visit the USO office at Camp Kim, a US military base in Seoul, to pay for our DMZ trip. The USO, in case you didn't know, is an organization that provides support to the military, and their family, around the world. In Korea, they run trips to the DMZ, and, because of their military status, to the highly restricted Joint Security Area, or Panmunjeom, as well. After being told, for about the 7th time, that I needed to "report to Camp Kim at 0700 hours on the 26th" and after being led through the Clothing Policy for Participants in the Commander, United Nations Command (UNC) Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) Education and Orientation Program - Joint Security Area (JSA) again, I retired to the lounge to read The Navy Times and watch CNN. My lounging was cut short though by the arrival of another tour bus, loaded with noisy military brats, and even noisier military wives. Leaving the base (which, from the outside, doesn't look like what you might think a military base should look like, either as an attempt to downgrade the presence of a foreign military, or as some sort of security measure "If it doesn't look like a base, perhaps no one one will think to attack it..."), I couldn't help but notice the Korean cops who patrol the outer perimeter fence. They look, as most Koreans have a tendency to look, very young, and sporting blue cargo pants, blue t-shirts and white sneakers, they couldn't look less like cops if they tried. They aren't even armed. Seeing them, you want to ask "Is that the best you could do?" I couldn't help but think of the Swiss Guards who operate in the Vatican City. When you first see the Swiss Guards, in their bright and billowy uniforms, you're put in mind of something from a Monty Python sketch: "Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and stripy coloured uniforms - no one expects the Papal Swiss Guards!" You might even want to laugh, until you see the 8-foot halberds they carry, and you imagine, correctly, that they're not just carrying them for the craic, but are trained to use them defending the life of the leader of the world's biggest church and head of its smallest state. The same could be said for the Korean cops guarding the US bases here. You might want to laugh at them, until you notice that what they carry, in an rather offhand fashion, is a samurai sword. Again, you can be sure they know how to use it. With nothing better to do, I headed across the road, in the general direction of Itaewon, but with the intention of visiting the War Memorial of Korea along the way. Entering the complex wherein sits the Memorial, I got lost - through no fault of my own I promise you. Inside, most of the signs were in Korean (outside, they'd all been in English) and the ones that weren't didn't point to the Memorial itself, but rather to places like the Admin. building and the Wedding Hall. I found the Memorial by walking away from the signs pointing everywhere else. Because of this, I came at the Memorial from the wrong direction, entering a hall off to the side, rather than approaching from the front, which is no doubt what the architect had intended. I found myself in a hall containing lists of the dead, or to be more precise, lists of US states, and the names of the men from each state who had died in the conflict. There was also a little tally chart listing the countries in order of which one lost the most (USA topping the charts with 33,000+ KIA, and Norway finding itself last with 3 KIA). At least those three got their names on the wall - some countries had fatalities that weren't even mentioned (How does that happen? Bodies never recovered or what - surely that's MIA and not KIA, if they're KIA, shouldn't the government know who they were, and shouldn't their names be up there too?) The Memorial, when I finally got to it, was like every other war memorial in the world (What did I expect?) with lots of statues of soldiers pointing guns and bare-chested peasants pointing the way. And just as my visit to Auschwitz was tainted somewhat by Italian tourists talking on their cell phones and getting their pictures taken with their girlfriends under the "Arbeit macht frei" sign, so was my visit to the War Memorial of Korea made strange by kids, both western and Korean, climbing all over everything and anything, and their parents indulging them by taking pictures with their cell phones and Canons. About a month ago I read an article in K Scene, an English language ragazine available in most western bars, about the upcoming exhibition on the history of Barbie. According to the article, the exhibition would be showing at the War Memorial. Not knowing then what I know now about the Memorial, I thought it was a major typo. The Koreans take their history seriously, and the War Memorial seemed to me the unlikeliest place for a show about Barbie. However, on Saturday I noticed advertisements for shows about Da Vinci, Barbie (!) and even some sort of Tom and Jerry on ice thing, all to be held at the War Memorial. The Tom and Jerry poster was particularly noticeable, given its rather inappropriate postion under the plaque which read "Let's pray for the cherished memories of the souls of all the defenders of the Republic of Korea." At this stage, I decided to get the hell out of there, and I retired to the 3 Alleys in Itaewon, to drink Taedonggang, eat a bratwurst, and read my Chesterton. Friday Feast 107Appetizer What color is your car? I live in Korea and can't understand why anyone would want a car here (except to shop at Cost Co). The last car that I'd consider mine (sorry Kate!) was a blue VW Golf. But the first car that could truly be considered mine was a white Fiat Uno called Blanche. Soup If you could wake up tomorrow with full training in another occupation and a job in that field, what would it be? I'd love to be doctor but I doubt I could make it through the studying and training and bullshit. So, if it could be done by magic, I'd choose that. Salad How many times in your life have you had the flu (or something similar)? Too many times to count. Last time was St. Patrick's Day, but I took some Chinese medicine that my partner procured for me, at about 6pm, and woke up at 9pm fighting fit and ready to drink some of the black stuff. Magic. Main Course What is something that has happened to you this week that you didn't expect? I fell asleep in class. Not that unusual in itself, but I'm the teacher. Dessert How old were you when you had your first kiss? Seriously, about 6 or 8 I think. I remember where it happened, and with whom, but I'm mentioning no names lest she gets in trouble! 8月18日 Poor Little FredoI've just taken a cyberwalk with my old chum Fredo and it reminded me how much I miss buying him drinks (five star Hennessey of course) and listening to this sort of thing in person. A Cup Of Tea & A Slice Of Life (Of course, he doesn't drink Five Star Hennessey at all, but I watched On Her Majesty's Secret Service before bed and it's what Bond orders from the St.Bernard that rescues him on the ski slopes.) 8月17日 Queen Jin-wooToday was one of those up and down days you have at work. It could have been pretty shit, had not Jin-woo, my biggest kid, and one of my best, rushed into the staff room to show off his new t-shirt, which said: Queen of the California Beach Jin-woo is a boy. 8月16日 Itaewon, Monday nightYesterday was Independence Day, and we were off, so we headed into Itaewon on Monday night for dinner and a few beers. It was a funny night. Mick, as usual, was coming off with some crackers. I wish I could remember them all. When he saw the photo I had taken of the bottle of Taedonggang (see below) he said how much he liked the "juxtaposition of light and dark". Now, it doesn't matter what the context, "juxtaposition" is just one of those words that always sounds funny. But in Gecko's, referring to a photo of a bottle of North Korean beer (my 3rd bottle), it was hilarious. His best line though, had to be: "I feel like George Bush." I don't remember the context, and in fact I think it's funnier not knowing. BlogthingsIf you've got as much time to waste as I have, you won't think it's that stupid that I've been dicking around here all evening. According to the results from the polls I've taken: I'm 90% Average American, average because I donate to charity, not average because I have a college degree. My Irish name is "Liam Quinn". (The poll didn't seem to realise my name is Irish anyway, what with me being Irish and all.) On another poll I'm only 60% Irish. If I were a member of the Brady Bunch, I'd be Bobby: Ultra competitive, you will do almost anything to win. From pull ups to pool sharking, you're very talented. And while everyone is aware of your victories, they still (affectionately) consider you to be a little brat! If I were a U.S President, I'd be J.F.K: You live a fairy tale life that most people envy. And while you may have a few dark secrets, few people know them. I'm a natural flirt: Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive! If I were a crappy Christmas present, I'd be a fruitcake!: You taste like nothing else in this world. And get ready, you're about to get tossed! Blame it on the weather manSaw this over on Jess' blog. Answer a few questions, it tells you what weather you are. Apparently I'm a rainbow: Breathtaking and rare You are totally enchanting and intriguing But you usually don't stick around long! You are best known for: your beauty Your dominant state: seducing BlogsBlogging about blogging? This is getting serious. I was thinking of switching to E Blogger because, according to some people, it's easier to use, the photos look better, there's a lot more stuff you can add to the site, and people don't have to have accounts to leave comments. But, when I tried it pissed me off very quickly. It's all in HTML (HTML and I have history. Bad history. The kind of history dictators erase from history books to cover up the bad shit.) so that was a problem. Then, everytime I changed something I could only preview the changes, they didn't seem to show up on the site proper. I quickly abandoned the idea. Now I'm back here and people still can't comment. Why do you have to have an MSN account to comment? I mean, what's that all about? Sort it our MSN! ShotI went along to Express Bus Terminal yesterday to have a nose around the book section, and they're having a pretty decent sale on Oxford World Classic books. Now, Classics are normally cheap over here anyway: novels by Mark Twain, plays by Shakespeare, collections of stories from Conan Doyle and Edgar Allan Poe (to name but a few) all run for about 2 pounds, or 4 dollars each, which is pretty good I think. Yesterday, there was 40% off, then I used my membership card and got a further 10% off - walked out of there with 2 books of poetry (Milton and Wordsworth) and 2 novels (The Napoleon of Notting Hill by G.K Chesterton and Five Children and It by E. Nesbit) for about 4 pounds. I was a happy camper. |
He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words. 
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